?you know the part when the “panic” part of the panic attack goes away and ur just left there..
tired and exhausted, all worn out
and not from anything in specific, even.. just everyday life…
just the every day of you.
living.
they “tag” you as AD, but they dont tell you about the other things..
the “stuff” that goes along with it..
the shit that hides under the surface, hides under that cover..
the real shit that ur forced to deal with when the panic reduces or passes and ur left alone all to urself
when u REALLY have to deal..
and WHAT u really have to deal with
or- WHOM..
with your *fucked*self..
cause when that ”panic” part looses his deadly grip on you,
and ur just left there.. all worn out, beat and torn..
there is just sadness
and emptiness
and no hope
ur freaking forced to deal with youself
with the demons in YOU
with that part of you u wanna hide from
the part that hates bright light, that usually withdraws into that little ball in the darkest corner of you..
that part..
those demons
and that , my friend..
that is the shitty part of all
cause those are the demons the “big” demons make..
those are the demons that are so hard to get rid of
those are the demons roots in you and rottens you
for good..
that is the part to be afraid of
and that is the part you NEED to face ot some point..
and that is the part of yourself you sould deal..
that part..
is the shitty one for real..