?you know the part when the “panic” part of the panic attack goes away and ur just left there..

tired and exhausted, all worn out

and not from anything in specific, even.. just everyday life…

just the every day of you.


they “tag” you as AD, but they dont tell you about the other things..

the “stuff” that goes along with it..

the shit that hides under the surface, hides under that cover..

the real shit that ur forced to deal with when the panic reduces or passes and ur left alone all to urself

when u REALLY have to deal..

and WHAT u really have to deal with

or- WHOM..

with your *fucked*self..

cause when that ”panic” part looses his deadly grip on you,

and ur just left there.. all worn out, beat and torn..

there is just sadness

and emptiness

and no hope

ur freaking forced to deal with youself

with the demons in YOU

with that part of you u wanna hide from

the part that hates bright light, that usually withdraws into that little ball in the  darkest corner of you..

that part..

those demons

and that , my friend..

that is the shitty part of all

cause  those are the demons the “big” demons make..

those are the demons that are so hard to get rid of

those are the demons roots in you and rottens you

for good..

that is the part to be afraid of

and that is the part you NEED to face ot some point..

and that is the part of yourself you sould deal..

that part..

is the shitty one  for real..

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